Adoption Discussion |
Emotional Aspects of Adoption
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Just as every adoption and family is different, so are the emotions people have surrounding their adoption. It's natural for any adopted person - whether he or she is a young child or a full-grown adult - to have complex feelings about being adopted. For example, people who have been adopted by parents of a different race may feel comfortable about growing up in their adopted culture, but they may still want to learn more about their own heritage and ethnic identity. Even people who feel close to their adoptive parents and live in a loving and supportive family environment can feel curious about their birth families. It's all part of answering the questions "Who am I?" and "Where do I belong?" - questions that are a normal part of growing up for everyone, not just adopted teens. The best way to deal with emotions about adoption is to address them, not avoid them. Teens can talk to their parents, other family members, friends, or a mental health professional such as a therapist or social worker to sort through feelings. If you're having problems, such as dealing with prejudice, these people can help as well. It can also help to talk to other people who were adopted or to join a local or online support group. Some people who don't know much about their biological backgrounds choose to seek out or find out more about their birth parents. Sometimes they do this for practical reasons, such as a desire to learn more about their health history. Other people seek out their biological families as a way to come to terms with their feelings about adoption. Teens who decide to take this step might worry that searching for their birth families may hurt or insult their adoptive parents. The best approach is to be honest about your desire to know more. The National Adoption Information Clearinghouse has a section that provides advice on searching for biological families in both the United States and some other countries. The concept of family today is vastly different even from 50 years ago when the family unit usually meant two married parents and their birth children. Today, many teens live in blended families with step- and half-siblings, a good number grow up in single-parent households, and grandparents or other relatives have taken over the parenting role for many teens. Adoptive families are just another type of family - in fact, problems like child abuse and even divorce are less common in adoptive homes than in other families. Studies have also shown that kids in adoptive families tend to thrive and grow up be more self-giving and altruistic than the average. Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD Date reviewed: April 2004
Last changed: 09/24/07